Mix in a small space:
- 45 people from a Marketing and Communications department for a life insurance company, mostly women over 40
- 12 comedians "performing" for over two-and-a-half hours, with talent ranging from awful to middling to genuinely funny (some recipes call for only six comedians and a show half as long, but only use that amount if you want a pleasant evening)
Add:
- Large quantities of classless humor (sex, rape, reproductive organs, racist comments, playing up stereotypes, etc.)
- As much profanity as possible
- "New material" night
- One guy who thought jokes about the annoying qualities of "It's a Small World" were original
- A healthy dose of Tiger Woods
Once combined, let simmer while sitting at a table with your manager and your manager's manager.
When cooked, you'll have my department's holiday party last night.
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Alternatively, for those with less time for the above recipe:
Add:
- 1 swanky nightlcub
- 1,899 hospitality professionals
- 1 woman of questionable professional integrity
- 1 "blouse" consisting of a brass necklace and a few wisps of sheer fabric hanging down the front
- 1 dash of double sided tape
- Concentrated gaze of the 250 people in the immediate vicinity including 2 VPs
Baste with open bar and impossibly annoying techno mix.
Attempt to escape situation with dignity intact.
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